From that first exploit with the scissors, it was a slippery slope into all sorts of makeover mishaps and fashion fiasco's. The most recent? I accidentally shaved off half an eyebrow …
Read MoreSure Francis Mallmann messaged you. And I just got off the phone with Mathew McConaughey. He wants you for his next sequel, Dallas Liars Club. Pissers.
Read MoreAnd emotional eating is not a comfort I want to explore either, lest I grow exponentially and break the walls of that rabbit hole …
Read MoreI predict one day I will laugh so hard with my friends we break a mirror, obliterating those laugh lines that bother us so much, and we spend more time focused on the things that brought us together in the first place, life’s punch lines.
I was giddy, a bit buzzed and chuckled out loud at the free pencil they gave us “Write drunk. Edit sober”. Ok.
Read MoreThis sweater kills. It almost looks like I have a chest, if breasts were a slightly raised sandbar.
Read MoreI want to both thank him, and kick him in his frying pan.
Read More"You yell at your kids, I take a toe." - The Universe
Read More...I will grab that tablecloth and pull.
Read MoreI’m a Kit-Kat, not a gourmet sticky toffee pudding.
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