Someone stopping by unannounced sends my brain into a social tailspin and feels like fireworks have just been dropped in my lap; all I can do is smile, pretend it doesn’t burn and act like sparks from my loins are normal.
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The gravy on our midwest mash was definitely the killer soundtrack that conspicuously seeped from Cleveland speakers and radio stations like a gas leak in an office building, poisoning us with ‘awesome’ every time we set foot in the car or relaxed in a restaurant.
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I no longer wanted this adventure. Limping and stained, I decided, I want to go home. (Three weeks in Abu Dhabi)
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Like a rabid dog, he snarled fake pleasantries in my direction while keeping me in his peripheral vision. I was trapped.
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‘Alone time’ seems like an impractical luxury, like using a diamond encrusted shovel to pick up dog poop or taking a limousine to a doctor’s appointment. Why? How?
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Me, I’m going to lose 5 lbs, or a half stone for the Bridget Jones fans. It will not be from having a dry January, trodding on a treadmill or tossing sweets in the trash. No such nonsense for me.
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Whoever you are Kitsgal , I love you. I love you deeply.
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From that first exploit with the scissors, it was a slippery slope into all sorts of makeover mishaps and fashion fiasco's. The most recent? I accidentally shaved off half an eyebrow …
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Sure Francis Mallmann messaged you. And I just got off the phone with Mathew McConaughey. He wants you for his next sequel, Dallas Liars Club. Pissers.
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